TMT008 - Parent Like An Economist

Listen to Episode 8 of The Matt Trick in the player above or download it.

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That's one big zucchini, baby!

The Matt Trick

Kids aren't as bad as everyone says they right?
I mean, I see cute kids on Facebook everyday!

For the Matt Trick, I introduce a few points from economics on parenting. I know when you seek advice on parenting, you probably don't think about asking an economist. In fact, you probably run from any economists in the vicinity. By I really enjoyed many of the points Bryan Caplan makes in his book Selfish Reasons to Have More Kids.

He gave a great interview about the above book a few years ago on Econtalk. Check it out the next time you have an hour's worth of yard work to do. It will help pass the time in between pulling weeds and finding infant-sized zucchinis.

Caplan, as well as many other parent-economists, can also be heard in an episode of the Freakonomics podcast aptly called The Economist's Guide to Parenting.

My biggest take away? Parenting doesn't have to be as expensive (in terms of money, time, and energy) as the world makes it seem. Studies show that it's not what you do to your kids, like spending lots of money on expensive schools, summer camps, violin lessons, and the like, but it's who you are that largely determines how your kids will turn out. Also, the biggest way to positively impact your children for years to come is to build a strong loving relationship with them.

Goal Line

It's not done yet, but I will have a page up by next week that shows different goals I've made and their status of how I'm doing. This way I can be better held accountable and more focused. Also, setting a new goal every week is becoming too much. I'll use this Goal Line page to determine where to expend my energy, which goals to drop, and if I even need a new goal in a coming week.

Matt-spiration Moment

Let me tell you a story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was asked to do it. Everybody was sure Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that, because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done.  

Sometimes we have expectations. These expectations can be for ourselves, or they can be for what we expect others to do. Other people can have expectations also--expectations for what we will achieve or what they think we would have them achieve. And if there is not effective communication, no one will meet anybody’s expectations and we’ll all end up with Everybody blaming Somebody with Nobody doing what Anybody could do.

Megan has been reading and listening to a man named Larry Kerby on parenting. He’s an author and speaker with a small following on Facebook and YouTube. In one of his videos that Megan had me watch the other day, he talks about the “definition of done.” This is something we’ve become frustrated over with Oliver and Camilla. When we ask them to clean up the blocks, our expectation is that the blocks are picked up, in their bin with the lid on, and the bin gets placed on the shelf. Their expectation, however, is that they pick up most of the blocks from the center of the room and then go and eat a cheese stick. These expectation do not match, and somebody is inevitably going to be disappointed. But we found that by communicating our expectations ahead of time and asking them questions like, “What will the room look like when your job is done?" "Where will the blocks be when they’re put away?" "What is your definition of complete?” we can come to equal expectations and get better results with less fighting.

But this isn’t just a parenting technique. This is a communication skill. Communication which is necessary for any relationship, with a spouse, within professional environments, church, society, politics, etc. If others know what we expect, and equally we know what they expect, then together we can all move towards a common goal and know what it will look like when we arrive there. 

In the Gospel, Christ makes it clear repeatedly what is we are supposed to do in this life. He gives us His commandments, He shows us His example, gives us numerous stories and parables to teach us to love one another, love God and our neighbor as ourselves, search the scriptures, pray always, share the gospel with those around us, repent often, and become our best selves by working our hardest towards the goal of perfection everyday. And even better than communicating his expectations with us, he lets us know what we can expect from Him: if we do our part, His atonement will fill in our shortcomings and we can be forgiven and become perfected in Him. He is constant, consistent, and perfectly clear in His expectations. There is never any question of which part is ours and which part is His.

Let’s try harder to build stronger relationships by clear communication and consistency with expectations. All of our relationships stand to benefit: our families, our social circles, our employment relationships, and most importantly, our relationship with the Savior, Jesus Christ.